Big Tobacco joins breast cancer industry

Big Tobacco has joined forces with the breast cancer business within the launching of its latest product geared toward raising funds for breast cancer research: “Pink ribbon” SlimSmokes smokes for girls.

For each cigarette pack sold, the producer pledges to contribute two-cents to breast cancer research. “We plan to raise cash to help find a treatment for breast cancer,” said Yin Hailing, representative for Phillip Porous, the manufacturer of pink ribbon SlimSmokes smokes. “Because the longer our best customers stay, the more they’re able to smoke!”

The pink ribbon smokes join several other cancer causing goods within the market already athletic pink ribbon symbols, including batteries produced out of toxic heavy metals and well-known skincare products laced with cancer causing petrochemicals.

Pink ribbons can also be available on cancer – encouraging cosmetics and nail-polish including parabens and other compounds. Pink ribbon SlimSmokes will be offered at selected stores, including Halitosis and Beyond, a retailer of hazardous home care products for consumers.

Stockholders of the top chemotherapy drug company, ConPfuzer, hailed the brand new merchandise as a “landmark accomplishment for the shareholders and stakeholders,” declaring the brand new smokes would simultaneously attract girls while considerably raising the need for chemotherapy treatments of breast cancer tumors.

The Susie B. Wheezie Basis, a high cancer nonprofit firm that helped secure the pink ribbon handle Phillip Porous, applauded the new product start, stating “By promoting more pink ribbon smokes, we’ll increase awareness of breast cancer, and that is going to result in more mammograms, more chemo and more radiation treatments that enrich our biggest corporate donors!”

Not everybody is convinced that raising cash for breast cancer research by marketing smokes to girls is a fantastic idea. Consumer health promoter and cancer business critic Mike Adams (aka “The Health Ranger”) questioned the sanity of the strategy, stating that, “Pink ribbons have become corporate graffiti. They are used to manipulate consumers’ mental associations with the aim of selling more items that’ll really damage them.

Nonprofit cancer groups ought to be ashamed of themselves for associating their name, as well as their symbols, at any goods which encourages cancer, even beyond cigarettes,” Adams stated.

Most physicians now concur that the inhaling of carcinogens in tobacco smoke is the No. 1 origin of breast cancer within america, and they warn women against smoking. Curiously, the No. 2 cause of breast cancer is continual vitamin D deficiency, however neither the medical establishment nor the cancer business now expresses any interest in urging girls to obtain more vitamin D through sun exposure or dietary supplementation.

Recent studies have indicated that vitamin D stops 77% of cancers from becoming full blown tumors, including prostate cancer, breast cancer, colon cancer and leukemia. A large proportion of girls within america stay chronically vitamin D deficient, placing their bodies in a state-of accelerated tumour growth.

Despite critics’ worries, those organizations associated with the brand new pink ribbon smokes consider the merchandise is a huge market success. Focus team have demonstrated the pink ribbon symbol attracts numerous woman who blindly purchase something carrying the symbol, whatever the health effects experienced from making use of such products.

“When girls see pink, they forget the way to believe,” noted one researcher who wishes to stay anonymous. “They buy something with a pink ribbon on it, although our studies show that 99.6% of girls don’t have any clue the amount of money out of their purchase really goes to breast cancer research, as well as where it goes. This really is classic Pavlovian conditioning designed entirely by business interests.”

One thing for sure: The more that girls keep getting these pink ribbon smokes, the more income that they will jointly increase to help find a remedy for the illness they will be providing themselves by smoking: Breast cancer! Appropriately, the Susie B. Wheezie Basis proclaimed that purchasing these pink ribbon smokes is much like “investing in your potential,” since funds from the sales will be utilized to find a remedy for the disorder resulting from the merchandise itself. A fresh function called, “Smoke for the remedy” is in the pipeline for next year as a means to improve merchandise sales and raise more cash for breast cancer research.

Disclaimer: This post is a parody of pink ribbon promotions used to hype consumer goods. It’s released under the protection of the First Amendment of the Usa Constitution, which is offered as amusing public comments with the aim of stirring considerate discussion on the present use of pink ribbons to promote consumer goods comprising (or creating) cancer causing substances. Any similarity to real product names, company names or nonprofit names is just coincidental. By no means does this parody piece mean to indicate that nonprofit cancer groups would support tobacco (although physicians and nonprofit organizations definitely did decades ago).

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